Why Should Anybody Listen To Me?
The Eye of Power podcast explores the dynamic forces and choices we face whenever we wish to make a positive change in our professional and personal lives. In this episode, we ask what qualifies Tom Dardick as a guide for you in this process. His answers may surprise you!
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Why Should Anybody Listen To Me?
Why should anybody listen to me? I could give you my story from the perspective of my parents. The Do No Wrong brochure version characterizes most people who wish to sell you something or how you describe the social media page of most of the people on your friends list. This is understandable. We need to know people's stories and the impressive things about them are interesting and pertinent. There's also value and wisdom in cautionary tales. We don't see those as often.
There is value and wisdom in cautionary tales. We don't see those as often.
To set my introduction to you apart and hopefully, to give you value in this way, I'm going to use that genre. Don't get me wrong. I live a blessed life. I feel lucky and grateful most of the time. I have been married to Kathleen since 1996 and we are tighter than ever. Kathleen and I are close with two adult children who are both outstanding members of society.
I have numerous long and deep friendships. I'm able to live my passions through performing music and writing books. My work as an interpersonal communication consultant makes a substantial positive difference for many people and organizations. My lifestyle is very close to the ideal I could ever wish to have. Despite all of that, I can also paint a picture of serial lost opportunity and underachievement.
I largely squandered my opportunity as an undergraduate student at Tufts University. I had two overriding ambitions in my late teens and early twenties. In my heart, I wanted to be a record producer. In my head, I wanted to work with my father and grandfather in their fledgling business. I made neither one happen. I stumbled my way through the years following those opportunities that were, A) At least mildly interesting, and B) Presented themselves easily.
I didn't intentionally pursue my passions by pushing through any obstacle that inevitably guards the gates of life's treasures. My limitations like yours and those of everybody else were in my head. In my thick noggin, there were three main culprits. Though they are under better control, I can't say they are dead and gone.
The first one was hubris. I thought I was so smart and could make anything work. I thought no matter what, everything would be good in the end. What has helped me deal with this limiting belief is the humility of knowing that no matter how much I think I know or what I think I can do, it's not much when compared to all there is to know and do. Experts may be impressive but that's only because they know a little bit more than we do compared to what there is to know about almost anything important. It's not that much more.
Positive Change: Experts may be impressive, but that's only because they know a little bit more than we do compared to what there is to know about almost anything important. It's not that much more.
In direct opposition to that first limiting belief, the second dragon that kept me from my dreams was self-doubt. You might ask me, “How could someone harbor both hubris and self-doubt at the same time?” It's because we are complicated creatures and we are not usually congruent. We hold many contradictory ideas.
I doubted myself in a few distinct ways. First, I had a deep feeling that I needed others to succeed and that I couldn't go for it by myself. Second, until my mid and late twenties, I was shy with women. I doubted my attractiveness and worthiness. The third limiting belief was harder for me to recognize. I suppose I could describe it as a sense of entitlement. I felt like no matter what, I would end up in a good place. More contradiction.
Each day is a new start. Much of the point of life is to do what we can to make tomorrow better than today.
Those limiting beliefs have kept me from taking numerous beneficial actions, especially in the beginning stages of my professional life. The first order of business for all of us is that we must take action to realize our full power in this world. Though I am still learning that lesson, I'm not disheartened by that. I feel like I'm at the beginning.
Each day is a new start. Much of the point of life is to do what we can to make tomorrow better than today and that's where we all are. That's the business we have together, making tomorrow a little bit better. That's what the eye of power is for. That's what I have dedicated my life to for the past several years. Though I got here late, I got here. I have a long way to go just like you. What do you say we take the journey together?