Seven Steps To Using Worry Productively

We all worry. While useful, its generally a place where we waste a lot of our energy, and in so doing bleed away much of our personal power. In today’s episode, we cover a method that helps us build the ability to better channel the energy of worry to productive ends.

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Seven Steps To Using Worry Productively

Worry is a peculiar emotion. We imagine something happening in the near or far future. The scenario we build in our minds doesn't match what we'd like to see happen. The gap between our preferences and the scary construction we make is filled with worry. As with all things, there are positive and negative elements to the function of worrying. Worry serves us in the sense that it generates energy and causes us to pay attention.

These are its purposes. It's a survival mechanism. Unlike other creatures where learning is largely restricted to experience, we can extend our experience with imagination. This allows us to suffer damage even death by proxy. We can learn from abstract ideas and need not learn the hard lessons the hard way but this benefit doesn't come for free. The price we pay for this protection is twofold. 1) Worry doesn't feel very good. 2) It can cause us to spiral into limiting fear-based behavior. In this episode, we'll look at how we can become more effective with energy or regeneration.

The Eye of Power Models Foundation consists of what we call the power grid. This is simply a way to picture how we apply our personal power in the world. The grid is defined by two axes. On one axis, we have what we do versus what we think. On the other, we apply our thoughts and actions either to ourselves or others. This arrangement creates four quadrants. Each of these is significant as we identify the things that hold us back or liberate us to manifest more of our personal power, our ability to construct a life of our choosing.

The quadrants are interrelated and function as a continuum. It seems to me a good place to start any self-examination is the quadrant where we consider the actions we direct for ourselves. We could choose self-directed thoughts as actions do reflect our thoughts and attitudes. It's also true that thoughts follow actions. The decision to act as a thought. It's often advantageous, especially when we want to make a change that doesn't come easy to stop thinking and simply take action.

Each of the quadrants has a name. The name reflects the nature of that quadrant. Some people are surprised, even put off by the name of the self-action quadrant. When building the model, I considered alternatives but I kept coming back to the realities that are obtained when we stretch ourselves to exert our personal power. For that reason, it's called the pain quadrant. The unavoidable reality of the limits of what we're willing and able to do is prescribed by our relationship to pain in all its forms, whether physical or emotional.

Pain has a negative connotation understandably so. It doesn't feel good, does it? Worrying can produce a lot of pain. Nevertheless, pain is not without purpose. It works as a feedback mechanism. Technically, it tells us to pay attention to the places where energy is not properly flowing. Unleashing our full power requires us to work through such blockages. We must therefore become more comfortable with discomfort. If you've ever trained for a sport or started some new job or task where you didn't have a lot of previous experience, you know exactly what we're talking about.

Pain is not without purpose. It works as a feedback mechanism.

The same dynamic happens whenever we expand our capacities. At first, it doesn't feel right. Yet we must work through that discomfort to build the competence necessary to achieve our aims. How does this relate to worrying? Worrying is natural. It's useful. It's nearly impossible to avoid. It's what we do with the energy produced by worry that determines the extent to which that energy produces the power that delivers more desirable outcomes. In the Eye Of Power Model, we call that kind of worry the type that keeps us from our power, consternation.

This is the first of the four corruptions, the phenomena that rob us of our personal power. Consternation is the process of imagining bad or worse-case scenarios and mulling them over in our minds. While it's good to consider the ramifications of our actions, and not good to ignore risks and drawbacks, the danger is we can get stuck and distracted. We may unwisely delay or avoid the actions necessary to get to the place we wish to go.

Before we go further, let's recognize consternation can spin out of control and result in a breakdown of our mental health. For those of us who feel paralyzed and unable to take or even consider a step in the desired direction, the first action we should take is to obtain the help of a professional who is skilled in this area like psychiatrists, psychologists, and counselors.

If this doesn't describe your circumstances, it's still advisable to seek a competent and trustworthy thought partner when working on deep significant change. Why? We can't see our blind spots. We all have blind spots. With those caveats in mind, let's turn to the question of how to manage the energy of worry and as a result, manifest more of our personal power. We'll do so in seven steps.

Using Worry Productively: We all have blind spots, but we can't see them. That is why it's advisable to seek a competent and trustworthy thought partner when working on deep, significant change.

Step 1) Check assumptions. Much of the trouble we experience emotionally could have been reduced, if not avoided, if we hadn't acted on faulty information. We are beings of limited perceptive power so we are forced to assume a lot but it is a very healthy and powerful, skill, habit, and discipline to examine assumptions anytime we have emotional energy around an issue. Two ways we can check our assumptions are to ask questions of others and reframe the matter in a different time scale We could also ask ourselves, “So what?” If the implications aren't a matter of survival, it might be easier to dial back our anxiety level.

Step 2) Adjust accordingly. Based on what we learn as we check our assumptions, we cannot adjust our expectations. Remember that frustration is a function of our expectations not matching the reality of our experience. We can't always determine that reality but we can adjust our expectations. Speaking of which, this brings us to the next step.

Step 3) Determine which pertinent matters we can control versus what we can't. Much of the cost of worry is the energy we direct to matters over which we are powerless to affect. We tend to overestimate what we can do in the short-term and underestimate what we can do in the long-term. Generally, we can only control our decisions and actions. As we know as we work on our development, it can be challenging to manage even that.

What we can't do is control other people. We can influence them and even inspire them. We can share tips like I'm doing but everybody's destiny lies directly in their hands. We need each other. We need to learn to lean on others to help us see what we can't but it's up to us to take the necessary actions to get where we want to go. Energy redirecting towards things we can't significantly change is energy that doesn't go to those crucial actions.

We need each other. We need to learn to lean on others to help us see what we can't, but it's up to us to take the necessary actions to get where we want to go.

Step 4) Let go of the things we can't control. Letting go can be one of the most challenging things we ask of ourselves, yet if we were to free ourselves and manifest our full agency, we must build this skill. Much of the reason we hold on to our cherished notions is that much of what we perceive about ourselves and the world is based upon them.

To let go is scary because it causes cognitive dissonance. We can feel lost, confused, self-doubting, and directionless. These are painful emotional states we avoid as much as we can but we must be willing to face them if we are to improve the narratives we use to navigate the world. One way I've found that helps me is the focus on breathing and quieting of the mind in our yoga practice. There are many options to help us build this ability. It is somewhat of a superpower that I recommend to everyone.

Step 5) Solve the presenting problems. Once we were a son solid footing about our assumptions and we've let go of the elements over which we can do nothing, we can direct the energy of our worry to creatively solve the problems ahead of us. The simple act of brainstorming for solutions or alternatives often alleviates the pressure of our worry. That can be beneficial but we also must realize that theory and ideas aren't sufficient to manifest our power. Work remains for us.

That leads us to Step 6) Make a plan. After we've cleaned our minds of the mistakes, assumptions, and clutter of matters out of our hands, and we've come up with some potential ideas to address the presenting issue that's causing us to worry, we're finally in an advantageous position to formulate effective plans. Good plans are concise and clear. They should be broken down into achievable steps with realistic timelines. Once you have a robust plan, you may find the initial worry has morphed into something else, perhaps even a nervous excitement.

Finally, Step 7) Act. We've reached the place where our power lies in our ability to act. With the solid foundation we've laid in the first six steps, we need to only execute the plan one item at a time. I'm reminded of the old bromide, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” No matter how simple or daunting the plan and path ahead may be, step seven is the same.

Using Worry Productively: No matter how simple or daunting the plan and path ahead may be, we need to take the first step in the plan.

Take the first step in the plan. After that, we take the next and so on until we've completed the plan or learned something that makes us create a new plan. The process remains the same. In so doing, we channel our energy productively. We limit our chances of falling into the fear traps that rob us of our time and our peace of mind. More productive action means more personal power. More personal power means we live the lives we’re born to live. Let's go.