If Respect Is Golden, Let's Be Millionaires! Three Ways We Can Enrich Ourselves Through The Power Of Respect

We talk a lot about respect in the Eye of Power community. It’s the crucial ingredient for healthy organizations. Its also a key determinant of how much of our personal power we can muster. In today’s episode, we consider ways we can better manage our impulses to maximize the treasure of respect.

---

Listen to the podcast here

If Respect Is Golden, Let's Be Millionaires! Three Ways We Can Enrich Ourselves Through The Power Of Respect

In episode 59, we took a deep dive into the concept of respect. We looked at how we build it, give it, use it, and lose it. We saw that respect is important because every person, no matter age, culture, or any other demographic we wish to consider needs it. It's related to a universal need. We all have it. We all need to be seen as unique individuals we are.

Our vulnerabilities sometimes get in the way of this process so much so that we hide ourselves so nobody can see our true nature. In those cases, we are the only ones who deny ourselves our needs. It's a function of a lack of respect. In that case, self-respect. Respect is golden, arguably more important than material wealth.

Think about the effect a simple act of respect can have on someone. It could take the form of a word of kindness that brightens a desperate person's day. Such words can stay hands that would otherwise do themselves or others harm. It can motivate someone to find the resolve to reach more of their potential. Acts of respect can be like planting a seed, which, when nurtured, can grow into a giant tree of trust, admiration, and mutual understanding.

We'll dig deeper using the Eye of Power Model to distinguish how we maintain our values while avoiding the traps that arise when we fail to use our judgment skillfully. If respect is like gold and judgment is like a double-edged sword, that sword gives us the power to win battles but it also hurts people. Awareness and knowledge of the ways our judgment works make all the difference. Hang in with us. This might change the way you see the world.

Let's start by acknowledging a fundamental truth. We all judge. It's part of being human and having preferences. Every day, we assess situations, make choices, and apply our value systems. As we see in the Eye of Power Model, judgment isn't inherently problematic. When judgment turns to condemnation, that's when we cast shadows within our relationships.

Point number one is the delicate balance of judgment and respect. Judgment is necessary for us to navigate in the world. Wisdom requires clear acumen about what matters more than what. Judging can become detrimental when it stops being a temporary assessment and starts becoming a permanent label. This usually comes from lazy thinking. Condemnation takes this to another level. We condemn when we use these labels to define boxes and ultimately reject individuals based on perceived shortcomings.

Sometimes, as in cases where there is criminality or a moral breach, this response is appropriate. More often, we're a little quick to condemn. It's the safer choice, evolutionarily speaking but it's also a trap. Too much condemnation erodes interpersonal bonds and leads to isolation and social deterioration. Respect is a beacon that leads us to a more powerful place. It reminds us that while we might not agree with or understand someone's choices or actions, we can still acknowledge their inherent worth.

Respect: More often, we are a little quick to condemn. It is the safer choice, but it is also a trap. Too much condemnation erodes interpersonal bonds and leads to isolation and social deterioration.

We can recognize the universal truth that they know things we don't. We can take the opportunity to show them respect by remaining curious about what that might be and genuinely exploring their perceptions. It doesn't mean we must reach an agreement. It means we can improve our model of the world by considering the viewpoints of someone with a different life experience. At a minimum, we can have a better relationship with the person when we give them the gift of caring about their individuality.

Point number two is recognizing respect amidst judgment. How might we do better at maintaining respect more often and more persistently? We can begin with one or more of these three things. Active listening. We talked about this habit and skill in episode 46. While it's natural to have internal judgments, true respect involves putting these aside and actively listening. Hear out the perspectives of others before forming an opinion. It's a window into their world.

It's a successful habit because people appreciate being listened to, not with a phone in hand, one eye on the screen listening but with full attention and presence. It's a gift that is appreciated at a deep level nearly every time. The habit of giving this gift cultivates goodwill among all the people in our lives. One of the reasons respect is more valuable than gold comes from the positive effects of that goodwill. If you want to explore this concept further, I refer you to a movie that is rated the number one best film of all time by many critics. It’s Citizen Kane.

Empathy over condemnation. Everyone has a story, a reason, and a journey. Instead of distancing from someone due to condemnation, step into their shoes. This doesn't mean you accept or condone harmful actions but it opens the spigots for understanding and empathy. We feed our sense of curiosity and adventure by doing this. One of the wonderful things about the human experience is that we can use our powerful imagination, the power of abstract thinking, to expand our experience vicariously. Look for differences between us as golden opportunities for such expansion.

Know when to step back. It's essential to distinguish between feeling safe and comfortable. While challenging our comfort zones can be enriching, if someone poses an actual threat to our well-being, it's crucial to protect ourselves without letting that instance rob us of our empathy for others. Remember, respect is an emotional energy that flows. Problems come when that flow is blocked. We must show ourselves respect as we do the same for others. If we're not up to that task, it's best to save the interchange for another time.

Point number three is navigating judgments without losing respect. How do we resist the trap of condemnation? In other words, how do we hold true to our values and exert sound judgment while we maintain a healthy flow of the energy of respect, even in difficult circumstances? Here are four actions that move us in the desired direction.

Daily reflections. Every evening, think about a judgment you made that day. Ask yourself, “Was it a mere assessment or did it lead to a condemnation?” The way we distinguish the two is the desire to disconnect from the person. It's a natural response. Sometimes, it's a wise response but not always, and we can control it. That starts in our daily reflections. We can consider ways and approach similar situations with more empathy in the future.

The pause technique. Before reacting to a situation, take a deep breath and pause. This brief moment gives us the space to replace a knee-jerk reaction with a more powerful and thoughtful response. The breath is so powerful. It deserves its own episode and we'll get there. In this context, we used a deep breath to reset our physiology and productively channel our energy. In this way, we enhance our ability to reset our emotions, become more present, and respond more mindfully.

Before reacting to a situation, take a deep breath and pause. This brief moment gives you space to replace a knee-jerk reaction with a more powerful and thoughtful response.

Empathy journaling. Whenever you feel distanced from someone because they did something you disapprove of, you can take that opportunity to explore that difference. Set aside who's right and who's wrong. Set aside notions of what you would do if you were in their place. Instead, brainstorm about their possible feelings, thoughts, or reasons. Write them down. People have reasons for everything they do. Whether or not they add up to us, it adds up to them, at least on some level. We have more of our power when we understand those reasons. This is not about justifying their action. It's about understanding their perspective.

Engage in open conversations. Share your feelings with trusted friends or mentors. Sometimes, voicing our judgments can help us see their roots and navigate them more effectively. We can't see our blind spots. Thought partners expand our vision because their blind spots typically differ from our own. High-quality communication expands our power of perception because it helps us see that to which we would otherwise remain unaware.

Respect: High-quality communication expands our power of perception because it helps us see things that we would otherwise remain unaware.

There you have it, a few ideas and actions that will help you maximize respect, minimize condemnation, strike the appropriate balance between the two, and expand your personal power by enhancing your relationships and expanding your perspective. Every day brings an opportunity to work on this crucial dynamic. Our personal power grows in proportion to how much we take those opportunities to build our abilities.

Remember, respect isn't about how you treat others. It's also about how you see yourself. Every person, including ourselves, is a unique chapter in the grand story of humanity. Isn't every story worthy of respect? As we wrap up, let's pledge to use our judgment as a tool, not a weapon, to let respect shine, even when shadows of condemnation loom. Let's be millionaires in the currency of respect. Let's go.

Important Links

• Episode 59 – Past Episode

• Episode 46 – Past Episode