The Wakeup Call

You know the feeling—it can be dramatic, sinking, like something big has got to change. It's the Wakeup Call. They can be scary and jarring. They can also be exciting, even inspiring. What makes a big difference is our ability to hear them before it's too late. In today's episode, we explore actions we might take to improve our ability to hear life's inevitable wakeup calls.

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The Wakeup Call

Life gives us plenty of wake-up calls mainly because we humans tend to be asleep at the wheel. By that, I mean we go through our days either unaware or in denial of the impending force that’s about to give us a conk on the noggin. It might be a reckoning in our professional lives. It might be something going on in an important relationship. It might be our financial or physical health. One thing is for sure. Something is going to happen, and it’s going to hurt.

Mostly, this isn’t because we’re dumb or we’re a bad person. It’s because the complexity of the world outdistances the processing power of the human mind. What does this mean? As it relates to our central theme of maximizing our personal power? It means we’re better served with a welcoming, friendly, hospitable attitude toward the inevitable wake-up calls we receive.

This is harder than it sounds. That’s because there’s a big part of us that doesn’t wish to be bothered with news that requires us to change in some significant way. We don’t mind taking on small tasks we think might matter, such as reposting a meme we think cleverly emphasizes a political point we hold dear, but rolling up our sleeves to actively work on that issue, sacrificing all things we might otherwise do for pleasure or personal gain. Let’s say we’re much less likely to bother. Maybe it’s because we’re lazy. When we sit back in combination with another’s frailties such as laziness or hypocrisy, we’re likely not only being lazy and hypocritical ourselves but we also show a lack of understanding of human nature.

Among its many facets, there are two major ones that circumscribe our willingness to answer a call to action. First, we’re wired to conserve energy for emergency use. This was a life-and-death neurological feature needed as humans evolved in a world that lacked many of the luxuries and layers of protection that emerged from the relatively recent advent of civilization. It used to be a survival strategy to be lazy, at least in some ways.

The second force that limits us is we’re incongruent. That means we desire incompatible outcomes, at least over the short term. This is also due to the inconvenient complexity of the world. As we paradoxically gain in available products and services designed for our convenience is nevertheless getting worse. More options, no matter how advantageous, may, in the end, not pay all the benefits we imagined. We were inundated with the need to make countless decisions every day.

Researchers try to count them. One article I saw in Psychology Today quoted estimates of 35,000 decisions per day. When we get that wake-up call, we may not even hear it amongst the noise of such busyness. That’s why we hear wake-up calls better in the quiet times, like when we’re about to fall asleep or we’re awake in the middle of the night when everyone else in the home is sleeping.

Wakeup Call: When we get that wake-up call, we may not hear it among the noise of such busyness. That’s why we hear wake-up calls better in quiet times.

We can also hear that voice more distinctly when we build the ability to discipline our minds. We can use our neural cortices rather than be used by the tyranny of a near continual and demanding emotional onslaught. That path leads to the loss of our agency as we serve the agenda of our past incarnations of ourselves, not the ones we aspire to create. There’s one answer to the question of how we might better listen, learn, and adjust to wake-up calls before they get chronic, acute, or even fatal. Build the habit of mental discipline. For that goal, meditation is one tried and true path to explore.

Regular readers will recognize my next point. All positive change begins with awareness, willingness, and the ability to hear wake-up calls to improve our awareness. As important as that may be, it isn’t enough if we wish to maximize our personal power. We must also effectively answer the call. When we do, we run right into another force of friction. This is also due to our nature. It’s the force of habit.

This is another example of a fantastic servant and a tyrannical master. Another crucial skill for us to master in our journey to our full agency is the ability to consciously form our habits. When we don’t, they serve the version of ourselves we were when we valued the benefit those habits gave us. When our desired outcomes change and if we’re growing, they do so two must our habits.

One of the toughest examples for me was my nightly chocolate habit. I’m not alone in my loath of chocolate. Truthfully, what I love is the combination of chocolate and milk. For decades, it was an every day and night indulgence. As I got older and wanted to be more mindful of my caloric intake, this habit had to go. I didn’t ever wish to completely cut out one of the best sensations life has to offer. I wanted to make it more of an occasional treat.

For a long time, I didn’t believe I could do it. Mainly, it’s because I knew I didn’t want to, but as my values shifted, I was finally able to get my chocolate consumption under control. I stick to a caloric budget. When it fits in or if there’s some special occasion when I’m not counting calories, I indulge, but the day-to-day chocolate habit is gone.

This is a minor example. I didn’t receive a wake-up call about chocolate. What I did was turn 60 and decided that I wanted to live a lot longer. Not merely survive but live. That meant I needed a plan for my health. A long-term plan that includes some, if not all, of the strategies, tools, and habits we now understand preserve our vitality. It was this larger goal that crowded chocolate from a shelf.

This is as good a strategy as I know to powerfully choose our habits. Orient yourself to the overarching, the long-term, and the strategic. What are the big things you want more or less of in your life? Pick one and decide to make it happen. That means change, sacrifice, and effort. Nothing will stick unless and until you make that decision. Once you do, and there’s no plan B, no going back, congratulations. You’re now past the biggest obstacle in your path.

Powerfully choose your habits. Orient yourself to the overarching, the long-term, and the strategic. What are the big things you want more or less of in your life?

The rest of it is comparatively easy. You take the big steps and you break them down into daily habits. The good news is you need not do it alone. You can find people or groups of people like us in the eye of power who will walk beside you and help you. People can offer guidance, support, resources, and life hacks that quicken our pace. People can see things in your blind spots. This multiplies our power.

That’s one of the biggest decisions we can ever make in our lives. We can decide to maximize our personal power and our ability to manifest what we’re born to manifest. From that decision, so much flows. Primarily, it’s our ability to enhance the lives of people we encounter. This is the high road. This is the path of joy.

This path leads to a better life, not only for us but for everyone we care about. We don’t need to be too far down that path before it becomes evidence that we should care about everyone. My hope is this episode functions as a little wake-up call for you. I hope you look at your bigger aspirations, choose one, and resolve to make it happen. I also hope I might be of service to you along that path. Let’s go.