The Four Mirrors
One of the best ways to build our personal power is to build our powers of perception. How can we do that? In today's episode, we look at four powerful methods that help us see what otherwise would remain hidden to us. What we do with that knowledge determines how much we build our power - our ability to make things happen in this world. What are your experiences with these methods?
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The Four Mirrors
It's not surprising that in this show, we talk a lot about power. In this episode, we'll dig a little deeper into the concept behind the word and the process by which we increase our personal power. As always, when we say power, we're not talking about authority. We're not looking at the power to direct other people. The power we focus on includes the ability to inspire, motivate, and influence others.
By taking the time to look more closely at the nature of our power, we can better appreciate how we can do these things well to beneficial ends and even how we can avoid many of the traps and missteps that await us along our journeys. The broad definition of power applies to our ability to take action. It can include or imply the capability or capacity to do or accomplish something. It's often used to suggest a certain mightiness and outside such ability as compared with customary expectation.
The word has another connotation. Power also can speak to permission to act, not authority but rather authorization. In the context of personal power, it is we who often grant or withhold for ourselves this authorization to act. How we do so has a monumental impact on our personal power, especially to act in such a way that results in benefits not only for the moment but also across time. It also benefits not only ourselves but also others or at minimum, doesn't harm others.
It's not a simple task. This is why people, no matter how accomplished or intelligent, struggle. We want things mostly for emotional reasons. Integrating those emotions into a hierarchy is a chore. Knowing precisely who we are, what we value, and how we can best prosper in the important areas of life is another big job. These conditions determine the first area among our powers. We all must address our power of perception. Why? It’s because we can't do anything about that which we are unaware of.
People, no matter how accomplished or intelligent they are, struggle. We want things, mostly for emotional reasons.
The problem here is that the world is inconveniently complicated. As a result, we must all contend with some universal requirements. First, we must grow comfortable with uncertainty. We can't know all there is to know. We can only gather what we can and take steps forward based on a combination of our assessments of the matter and faith.
Faith is not optional because we don't know everything. We must faithfully fill in the blanks. That's what models are for. We're often unaware of what it is in which we're placing our faith. This is a good place to begin improving our power of perception. When we make decisions, we can examine our underlying assumptions. What are we taking as true here? Why do we think that? What if we're wrong or mistaken? What else might I consider if that were the case?
Our perceptions inscribe a boundary that marks the extent of the possibility or potential for our power. Intentionally expanding them through learning is the fastest way to expand our power. The first place we need to look is within. I say this for the reasons I laid out about our authorization and what we'll allow ourselves to do.
This is a function of our self-perception. This is a complicated picture different for each of us. It entails social taboos, conventions, self-inhibitions, and our assessments of our capacities, limits, and tolerances. There are sufficient basics and universals that can help us see more clearly. This is where we can readily benefit. It's always advantageous to build clarity. This is the antidote for such common maladies as fear of failure, fear of success, and Imposter syndrome.
When our self-perception clears, our decision-making, values, and even our view of others are all clear too. We don't see things for what they truly are ever. That's our lot in life as human beings. Our lives are a function of narrative. Carl Jung recognized this aspect of our lives. We live stories. These stories are curated. Some of it is our doing. Some of it is influenced by forces to which we're exposed.
Perception: When our self-perception is clear, our decision-making, values, and even our view of others are all clear, too.
Our memory of the past is not the past. It is our story of the past. Our pictures of ourselves and the people we know and love are not those people. There are stories about those people. They are our models. As our clarity rises, our models increase in precision and utility. They become more reliable, useful, and predictive. We begin to avoid traps into which we used to fall.
We share our problems as we work to clarify our perceptions and improve the models we employ to navigate through life. With how we are physically and emotionally constructed, we all have blind spots. We can't see what we can't see, no matter how brave, introspective, and perceptive we are. What does this mean as it relates to increasing our power? We need help.
With the Eye of Power Model, we use four types of help. We won't go into a ton of detail about each one here. They all warrant their episodes, maybe many, but I'll give you a basic rundown. I call them the four mirrors. Two of the mirror types are inanimate tools. The other two are people. Mirror number one is a physical mirror. We use them all the time to see ourselves, usually while we apply makeup or shave or make sure there's nothing unsightly in our nose or teeth but how often do we use them to talk to ourselves?
Give it a try. At your next opportunity, when you're alone and you have a few moments, look in the mirror. Look at the person looking back at you. Have a heart-to-heart talk with that person from the perspective that you care about that person like you do for someone you love more than anyone else. You want to talk with that person in the spirit that you want them to be all they can be. You want them to use their gifts to help as many people as they can. You want them to experience closeness and connection in all of their relationships.
What does that person need to hear? What does that person need to do? Ask these questions. Take your time. Listen to the answers. They'll come if you're open and patient. Respect those answers. If something comes up that's worth acting on, in other words, directing your power to make it happen, write it down. Maybe the time is right to act upon those things or that is a day to come. Give yourself permission and authorization to take that action whenever that day may be. That was mirror number one.
Mirror number two can often be even more powerful. It is comprised of psychometric instruments. I use them all the time in my work to help people get a much clearer and deeper picture of their unique set of attributes. There are many such mirrors. They can describe our behavior, communication styles, or strategy with which we view the world and ourselves in it.
Our power is a perception, our brain's processing power, the factors that motivate us, what our productive skills in the workplace may be, and even our emotional intelligence. Knowing these things with precision expands our circle of self-perception, sometimes drastically. It's incumbent upon us to adjust our thinking and by extension, our feelings, actions, and fate.
Mirrors 3 and 4 are other people. The difference is one group, other people who know us. That's mirror number three. Mirror number four is professionals who don't know us but are skilled in helping us see truths that we've buried and have tools and techniques that can free us from the mire our myopia generates. They can be psychological professionals, counselors, coaches, or mentors.
The people who know us, mirror number three, can reflect observations over a longer period about us. This tells us something about the qualities we manifest consistently but this is not a pure mirror. It's distorted by the person's biases about us too. In numerous and significant ways, our mother's view will not match our bosses. It is an example.
Both can give us valuable feedback. We need to remember that their feedback will be as much about them as it is about us. Therefore, we need to be careful and judicious with this mirror. Since professionals are still people, the same can be said of mirror number four but to a much lesser extent in most cases. As in all professions, there is a spectrum of skills. As in all things, it's subject to a Pareto distribution.
That means 20% of practitioners represent 80% of the value. Not only that but we must consider fit. Some approaches will resonate with us while others won't. Excellent practitioners know this and vary their approaches from client to client. With this in mind, many don't. They have a hammer and every problem to them looks like a nail. This means we'll need discretion when using this mirror.
The four mirrors are the best and fastest ways I know to see our blind spots and by extension, expand our self-perception. If you have some other ideas about how to accomplish this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. What we do about it is where the rest of our path to power leads. Power is force. How, where, and when we apply that force determines our effectiveness and results.
Power is force. How, where, and when we apply that force determines our effectiveness and results.
We need to become comfortable with uncertainty. We also must become comfortable with discomfort because the actions and force we apply in manifesting our power will generally feel uncomfortable at first. We may have to have tough, courageous conversations. We may have to say no to things we always used to say yes to.
The old version of us often won't like that, at least at the beginning of the change but we must make a commitment to the person in mirror number one. We must give them a chance and opportunity to live, not just survive, get by, or exist but live. They need to know what this life is for and what it is in their bones. That's the loving thing to do and that's how that person will become more able to love others and be more powerful in this walk we go through in life. It's here, it's now, or it's not. That's the key. Will you authorize yourself to access it? I sure hope so. Let's go.